You won't catch this one on AHT (probably)

I was recently reminded of a joke my dad used to tell*:

 

Have you heard about the man who got the job driving the bus for Sesame Street? He was really looking forward to meeting all the Sesame Street characters, and so he was filled with great anticipation his first day on the job. As he stood outside the bus waiting for his riders, the first person he saw approaching the bus was an extremely large woman. Before she boarded the bus, he asked her her name. Huffing and puffing she replied, "I'm Patty." "Well, Patty," he said, "climb on board. We'll be leaving shortly."

 

The next passenger, another large lady, was wearing a bright green suit. When asked her name by the new driver, she replied, "My name is Patricia but my friends all call me 'Patty'."

 

"Patty, meet Patty," the driver said, chuckling. "You two talk it over while we wait for the everyone else.

 

As the new driver stood there, he found himself thinking about the Muppets. He was really hoping Kermit the Frog would be on his route. But the next passenger was a little boy wearing a crown. He walked up to the driver, tugged on his shirt, and said, "My name is Ross. My parents say I'm special."

 

"I'm sure you are," said the driver. "Climb on, and we'll be leaving shortly."

 

The last person to approach the bus was a really strange looking man. "Hello, sir. What's your name?" said the driver. "Lenny Reese!" the man barked, as he pushed his way onto the bus.

 

"At least I got to meet Oscar the Grouch," thought the driver as he took his seat and started the motor.

 

As he was pulling away from the curb, he checked on his passengers in his rear view mirror. Much to his horror, he saw Lenny sitting there with his shoes off, picking at something. The bus driver couldn't believe his eyes; it was so disgusting! "This is nothing like I thought it would be!" he thought. "No Bert, no Ernie! Just freaks and weirdos!"

 

(illustration by my mom, and yes, that's me driving the bus)

 

He mulled it all over for a while, then suddenly he began to smile. He thought to himself, "Who would ever believe that, the first day on my new job I have two obese Patties, special Ross, and Lenny Reese pickin' bunions on a Sesame Street Bus?!"

 

 

 

 

*This version loosely cobbled together from all over since dad doesn't quite remember how it goes.

Yes, Please!

Boston Globe: Did you ever think about trying to get back to the Red Sox?

 

Trot Nixon: "Sure. I saw recently where they needed a lefthanded bat. Someone who can play first and maybe the outfield. That fits for me. I know my representative has contacted them, but I have no idea what their plans are and who they're considering. I would always love to come back and play in Boston. I still have so many friends there. But the important thing now is to play again, no matter where it is."

New York is Burger Crazy

Shack_Squirrel4

Love is Blind

10:49:00 AM Me: speaking of tragedy
10:50:39 AM Alex R: when I first read "separated" I thought they meant conjoined twins
10:50:44 AM Me: yeah, me too
10:50:50 AM Alex R: that would be really really sad
10:50:53 AM Me: which would poke holes in their "we didn't know" story
10:51:19 AM Alex R: they just thought the matching scars were another thing they had in common
10:51:25 AM Me: we're so alike!
10:51:32 AM Alex R: like their mutual love of sunsets
10:51:41 AM Alex R: and candlelit dinners
10:51:59 AM Me: and doublemint gum
10:52:17 AM Alex R: well that should have been a hint

YAY!

A small step in the right direction.

The Love Boat (for 2)

The Love Boat (for 2)

Simply Awful

That surprised me, Sir

Link: The Peanuts Character Test written by timberlineridge  From: Bookshelves of Doom

I just can't get enough Jose Conseco

Plus, I think he's implying Alex Rodriguez is a lady.

And, as ever, please no robot dogs

DO NOT WANT!!!

 

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